Moments

I have been lamenting recently about how little I remember. Just a few weeks ago, I told Terry I already can barely remember Emerson being so tiny as a newborn and that makes me so sad because I want to remember that always and it's only been 4 months and I'm already forgetting. I have glimpses of memory, but what I've always wanted more of is a memory of whole events - the big picture and all the details. Instead, what I've always had has been snippits and snapshots.

Last week, Blake posted this video on his blog...[pause to go watch the video]

Moments from Everynone on Vimeo.

...and as I watched it, I realized I needed to change my view on my memory - I remember these moments, these flashes of the brilliance of life. I remember just enough to know what has changed me and touched my heart, and if we could all see into eachother's minds' eyes to see everyone's personal video of their moments like this, it would be so inspiring, and so telling.

If I could capture the moments from the past few months since Emerson, I think these are some of the things you would see...

• me sitting in the parking deck of the doctors office on the phone with my mom, pregnant and sobbing, so. flipping. afraid. because i'd just been told i was having my baby that day
• terry and me standing in Target choosing between pairs of slippers
• terry holding my hand
• the look on my mom's face when she saw emerson
• emerson's face the first time she nursed (sorry, x-rated, you could watch the censored version if you needed to) :)
• a hospital room full of people loving on a new family
• me breaking down crying in the bathroom at home because i was afraid i had no idea how to be a parent
• terry and emerson sitting on the couch late at night
• the three of us sleeping in the bed
• molly helping me put the carseat in the shopping cart on our first outing
• a mimosa for my birthday lunch
• emerson and adam sleeping on the couch at christmas
• her precious smile when she sees terry come home for the day
• us frantically getting the camera to catch her laughing on film
• emerson sleeping in the sling on a family walk
• a road trip with aunt becca in the snow
• terry in bed with emerson and bella
• emerson's toothless, juicy mouthed, drooling grin (which might be blocked by two fists sticking in said mouth)
• the view from our front porch
• a patient hugging me on my first day back to work
• terry cooking dinner
• my living room on a tuesday night during bible study
• laura and em in their matching bunny slippers (because it wouldn't be a post without a picture of emerson!)

Those are the first things that pop into my head, and I'm sure if I thought longer, I would remember more - which is just a reminder to me that it's okay if I don't remember everything about everything. I remember the moments, big and small, that are telling the story of my life, and her life, and our life as a family; and that is what matters most. Moments that are leaving imprints all over my heart.

Thanks for sharing the inspiration Blake!