I have been lamenting recently about how little I remember. Just a few weeks ago, I told Terry I already can barely remember Emerson being so tiny as a newborn and that makes me so sad because I want to remember that always and it's only been 4 months and I'm already forgetting. I have glimpses of memory, but what I've always wanted more of is a memory of whole events - the big picture and all the details. Instead, what I've always had has been snippits and snapshots.

Last week, Blake posted this video on his blog...[pause to go watch the video]

Moments from Everynone on Vimeo.

...and as I watched it, I realized I needed to change my view on my memory - I remember these moments, these flashes of the brilliance of life. I remember just enough to know what has changed me and touched my heart, and if we could all see into eachother's minds' eyes to see everyone's personal video of their moments like this, it would be so inspiring, and so telling.

If I could capture the moments from the past few months since Emerson, I think these are some of the things you would see...

  • me sitting in the parking deck of the doctors office on the phone with my mom, pregnant and sobbing, so. flipping. afraid. because i'd just been told i was having my baby that day
  • terry and me standing in Target choosing between pairs of slippers
  • terry holding my hand
  • the look on my mom's face when she saw emerson
  • emerson's face the first time she nursed (sorry, x-rated, you could watch the censored version if you needed to) :)
  • a hospital room full of people loving on a new family
  • me breaking down crying in the bathroom at home because i was afraid i had no idea how to be a parent
  • terry and emerson sitting on the couch late at night
  • the three of us sleeping in the bed
  • molly helping me put the carseat in the shopping cart on our first outing
  • a mimosa for my birthday lunch
  • emerson and adam sleeping on the couch at christmas
  • her precious smile when she sees terry come home for the day
  • us frantically getting the camera to catch her laughing on film
  • emerson sleeping in the sling on a family walk
  • a road trip with aunt becca in the snow
  • terry in bed with emerson and bella
  • emerson's toothless, juicy mouthed, drooling grin (which might be blocked by two fists sticking in said mouth)
  • the view from our front porch
  • a patient hugging me on my first day back to work
  • terry cooking dinner
  • my living room on a tuesday night during bible study
  • laura and em in their matching bunny slippers (because it wouldn't be a post without a picture of emerson!)
Those are the first things that pop into my head, and I'm sure if I thought longer, I would remember more - which is just a reminder to me that it's okay if I don't remember everything about everything. I remember the moments, big and small, that are telling the story of my life, and her life, and our life as a family; and that is what matters most. Moments that are leaving imprints all over my heart.

Thanks for sharing the inspiration Blake!


Blake and Ashley said...

Well done, El. And Emer is ridiculously cute. We need to work a play date in soon. I'm hoping y'all will be coming to The New Miami in the Spring. We are planning to be a CT and Hef's wedding, but we'll probably leave Kessler with family.

Becky said...

The day wouldn't be complete without me crying...thanks for making me sob!
Great post :)

Bec said...

One of me my moments is sitting in the hospital room with Em and I will ALWAYS remember how wide awake she was the first time I held her. I love that girl... And her Mom and Dad. :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the baby with the kissable cheeks. Love her mom and dad too! I'm planning to enter her in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest string of baby drool!

The Grandmother

Anonymous said...

OK, ready for a new post!


Bella and her Mama said...

mmmm... i have some very sweet "moments' with that girl...
1. the first time i laid eyes on her in your bed... all the funny lil' faces she made!
2. watching her mommy and daddy give her her first bath- priceless
3. snuggling in bed with her while her mommy was asleep next to us
4. em asleep on my chest late at night soaking in a good book

these are just a few... and the thought that there are SO many more to come excites me to no end!
LOVE that baby Emmy.