Last week, Blake posted this video on his blog...[pause to go watch the video]
...and as I watched it, I realized I needed to change my view on my memory - I remember these moments, these flashes of the brilliance of life. I remember just enough to know what has changed me and touched my heart, and if we could all see into eachother's minds' eyes to see everyone's personal video of their moments like this, it would be so inspiring, and so telling.
If I could capture the moments from the past few months since Emerson, I think these are some of the things you would see...
- me sitting in the parking deck of the doctors office on the phone with my mom, pregnant and sobbing, so. flipping. afraid. because i'd just been told i was having my baby that day
- terry and me standing in Target choosing between pairs of slippers
- terry holding my hand
- the look on my mom's face when she saw emerson
- emerson's face the first time she nursed (sorry, x-rated, you could watch the censored version if you needed to) :)
- a hospital room full of people loving on a new family
- me breaking down crying in the bathroom at home because i was afraid i had no idea how to be a parent
- terry and emerson sitting on the couch late at night
- the three of us sleeping in the bed
- molly helping me put the carseat in the shopping cart on our first outing
- a mimosa for my birthday lunch
- emerson and adam sleeping on the couch at christmas
- her precious smile when she sees terry come home for the day
- us frantically getting the camera to catch her laughing on film
- emerson sleeping in the sling on a family walk
- a road trip with aunt becca in the snow
- terry in bed with emerson and bella
- emerson's toothless, juicy mouthed, drooling grin (which might be blocked by two fists sticking in said mouth)
- the view from our front porch
- a patient hugging me on my first day back to work
- terry cooking dinner
- my living room on a tuesday night during bible study
- laura and em in their matching bunny slippers (because it wouldn't be a post without a picture of emerson!)
Thanks for sharing the inspiration Blake!
Jordan, sorry you didn't get the message that everyone was sad in this photo...
And the best part is, I'm still just as excited about her today as when I found out she was coming into this world! Eight years older, I loved playing with her when she was a baby, and my days of rocking her as a baby and singing Amy Grant's rendition of "Thy Word," [which I thought the words to were 'died bird' - yes, seriously] probably prepared me for my hours of rocking and singing to Emerson. Laura called me her 'real mom' when she was little, which was no offense to the lack of time my mom spent with her just a testament to how obsessed I was with a baby sister! We now (even though 8 years apart) get mistaken for each other all the time, but you can tell us apart because she was blessed with the gorgeous blue eyes, while I got the grey hair...hmm, fair? I think not. But she also got the cool, relaxed, super fun genes that I'm just digging out of my genetic code, and I have loved to watch the freedom of her spirit grow and excel and HAVE FUN. I would SO want to be her friend if she weren't my sister...I mean, she is my friend, but you know, even if she wasn't, she's the kind of girl that when you meet you know you want her to be your friend. Except you (I) might be jealous of her. Because she's gorgeous, and keeps getting more and more beautiful every time I see her somehow!
We had a blast when she and Jordan were here, making homemade pizzas, doing a little shopping for Emerson's first bathing suit, lunch at Owen's, dinner at Cantina, splitting a milkshake from Cookout, playing Settlers of Catan, and snuggling the world's cutest baby.