Getting by

Recently I've been feeling like I haven't really been doing anything other than just getting by - in most areas of life: sleep, sticking to my exercise routine, sticking to my budget, work, keeping my house clean, etc. I know that that is okay and that some days/weeks/months/phases of life are just about surviving and letting everything else go to the wind while you __(fill in the blank)__. For me (us, really) that blank has been spending time as a family and with Emerson for the few short awake minutes we get with her before her bedtime at night and before she goes to Beth's in the morning. Sometimes that not really doing anything trickles down into even the smallest areas of life. Insert: recycling, giving back, supporting, living outside of myself - these things are all wrapped into one in my mind.

Gone are the days of roommates leaving me notes inside the peanut butter jar that they threw in the trash can to just leave it there instead of digging it out and cleaning it like they knew I would. Recently, if the recycling bin in the kitchen was full instead of emptying it into the larger one outside, I would just throw something away. In fact TODAY was trash/recycling day, and I noticed that Terry didn't get a chance to take them down to the curb like he normally does, but I didn't take them down either. Today! Earth day! I didn't even recycle the right day on EARTH DAY. Get it together Ellen, be a good steward!

Then as I perused my daily blogs, I read this. Let's not be surprise that I was inspired by this, I feel like I am inspired by Tara Whitney EVERY time I read her blog. Which is daily. If I ever come home saying I have a great idea, Terry's first guess is most likely that my great idea was probably inspired by someone else, and if he hears it was from a blog, he's going to guess it was her. (And the best part is...I am a total blog stalker of hers. I have never, not once, in my ... years(?) of reading her blog left a comment. Silly me! Blog writers love comments, it inspires us - at least me - to keep doing this instead of going weeks without blogging, oops. Yes Katie Tison, I know you are out there!!! Perhaps if enough of you blog stalkers comment, I'll make myself comment on TW's blog also. And I might blog more often. Perhaps.) And here is a shout out to some other inspiring people that I blog stalk: here, here, and here. Anyway. Back to the point. I was inspired, and I want to be doing more than just getting by. I mean, how do things like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch exist without me even knowing? And these bags, yes please! And did you see how she used little silicone cupcake holders to hold snacks? Please let me be a cool and thoughtful mom...heck, person!

[picture: unrelated, but precious :)]

I do my part in small ways for sure, but I would like to commit to those small ways and make those ways habit rather than just luck or happenstance. I recycle my plastic grocery bags when I forget to bring my re-usable ones, and on good days, I recycle all things recyclable. But I still use plastic tupperware, and I still use Ziploc bags like they are going out of style - though I do reuse the ones that I send Emerson's bottles or extra clothes in in her diaper bag, that's one step! I don't want to over-commit or I know I'll end up doing nothing. So here's to the Bruces figuring out what it is that we are passionate enough about that we can stick to and do. If it's being more than the average recycler, or helping provide clean water, or sponsoring a child, or __(fill in the blank)___, great - as long as we are inspired, and as long as we are doing more than just getting by most days. Because we are called to live life, and to live life abundantly.

Easter Dress

Per many requests - the obligatory Easter dress picture - which, by the way, I worked hard for (on ebay) - and then we (gasp!) didn't go to church in Emory, so she literally put the dress on for this picture and took it off - you can tell by her sleepy eyes that it was early in the morning. So. If you see this dress again next year...do. not. judge. me.

Also, she got a pretty stinkin' cute Easter basket this year filled with fun toys from Haba, which I scored from The Mini Social, which I love, and a cute dress from her daddy.

Barnes & Noble Inspiration

Today is our three year anniversary. Three years! Didn't we just meet in high school yesterday? Wasn't I just giving 'my little Terry Bruce' rides to his exams because he moved from California and didn't have his license yet? Nope, that was a long time ago - and time has been flying ever since - but these have been fabulous three years! I could go on and on...but I won't...happy anniversary T, don't want to make you cry at work today :)

[yes, i know you have seen this picture on the blog already, but it's the only one i have from our wedding on the computer. beggars can't be choosers. feeling the need to reminisce with us, you can check out Kevin Milz - we are all over it!]

In honor of three years, we took the day off work yesterday to stay at home and relax (yes, our lives are that exciting that that is ALL we both wanted to do to celebrate!) but our amazing and fearless sister-in-law, Jenn (mother of 4 boys!) asked if she could keep Emerson overnight for us Monday night to let us really enjoy the day Tuesday by sleeping in! Despite a little sadness at Emmy being on her first sleepover, we said YES and enjoyed a full, uninterupted night's sleep for the first time in 5 months, and hung around with no agenda. FABULOUS. Emerson also slept for 12 hours, only waking up 1 time to eat - it must be something about Jenn's magical mother-of-4-children touch - that and the cave of a closet that Em got to sleep in. [Black out curtains are next on the list of things to buy for her nursery!] In our lounging around, I requested that we go to Barnes & Noble to peruse, something I've been wanting to do for awhile now but haven't felt peaceful enough to do! Boring, I know. But I loved it. And I read excerpts from some fabulous books that I wanted but decided not to get, and read excerpts from others that I thought would be fabulous and planned on buying but didn't because they weren't. Good to know. But I saw a book with this quote, and thought it was fabulous and 100% described motherhood for me:

[It was when I had my first child that I understood how much my mother loved me.]

My mom used to always say to me "you'll understand when you have kids." I always thought I already got it. I loved kids and was super involved in lots of kids lives and had lots of kids super involved in my life. But she was right (surprise)! To be a mother, to have a child, is to know a whole new kind of love - protective and endearing, long-lasting, full of fear and adoration.

And I imagine she would tell me the same about being a grandmother - that I'll understand when I have them. That seems forever away, but I'm sure by the time it gets here, time, again - will seem to have flown. Thanks Ma, for loving me and for loving Em in a way I could have never known until I got here.

[picture: Emerson, Mom & Caleb swinging in Emory over Easter - SUCH a fun time]

Writers block

Two weeks between posts means that I must have writers' block. It could be because I've been working too many hours and somehow am deciding to work more [note to self: next time around, don't build a house, furnish it, have a baby, 'furnish' it, and take 3 months off work all in 12 months time]. (Picture: Emerson early one morning before work/going to Beth's wondering why I always have the camera in her face) Speaking of Beth, let me introduce you to her - here she is with Emmy and Regan. We L-O-V-E Beth. I cannot say this enough - biggest biggest blessing.

It could also be because I've been having potluck dinners inspired by PW herself. We (read: Becky) wrote her an email about said dinner. She has not heard back from her, Becky is getting testy. Rhododen-drum (right girls?) better watch out when she comes to Charlotte - control yourself Becky. This potluck dinner, by the way was amazing, and you can read more about it here and here - why reinvent the wheel, right?

The delay of posts could also be because I've been having too much fun dressing up the world's cutest baby in cute clothes - like a dress of mine that my grandmother smocked for me; or her bathing suit that she only wore indoors because it was too cold at the beach.

Speaking of, the delay could also be because I've been at the beach! The annual trip to Litchfield with the girls was the coldest yet this year (bummer!) which stuck Em and I inside most of the day Saturday; but it didn't keep me from lots of fun Saturday night with a delicious dinner, hilarious annual pre-dinner conversations, and a riveting game of poker (we're sorry that we don't have better poker faces Kat!) And for the record, Helen might or might not have stolen all of Becky's chips after she bowed out of the game and none of you noticed because you were too busy making fun of Helen :) We did, thankfully make it out on the beach for two quick seconds when we got there Friday night where Tara snapped this picture of Emerson - her only picture on the beach - which is okay, because it's cute enough to make up for it! And one on the porch with the beach at least in the background to prove we were there! We are LOVING this warmer weather, and it might just inspire me to actually get out in the mornings with Emerson before work. Seeing as how the 'mommy-and-me' yoga DVD I got because I thought it would be fun and peaceful has my arm muscles burning this morning, I'd say I need a little more exertion in my days! We are headed to Emory for Easter this weekend and are looking forward to a warm weekend of relaxation, time with family, and hopefully lots of photo-ops with cousin Caleb! Maybe even a rejuvination of my brain to help me write blog posts more exciting than our daily life!

**Because some of you have already asked, that is Becky's bling in the photo here with Em - gorgeous, right? Way to go Mike!

Moments

I have been lamenting recently about how little I remember. Just a few weeks ago, I told Terry I already can barely remember Emerson being so tiny as a newborn and that makes me so sad because I want to remember that always and it's only been 4 months and I'm already forgetting. I have glimpses of memory, but what I've always wanted more of is a memory of whole events - the big picture and all the details. Instead, what I've always had has been snippits and snapshots.

Last week, Blake posted this video on his blog...[pause to go watch the video]

Moments from Everynone on Vimeo.

...and as I watched it, I realized I needed to change my view on my memory - I remember these moments, these flashes of the brilliance of life. I remember just enough to know what has changed me and touched my heart, and if we could all see into eachother's minds' eyes to see everyone's personal video of their moments like this, it would be so inspiring, and so telling.

If I could capture the moments from the past few months since Emerson, I think these are some of the things you would see...

• me sitting in the parking deck of the doctors office on the phone with my mom, pregnant and sobbing, so. flipping. afraid. because i'd just been told i was having my baby that day
• terry and me standing in Target choosing between pairs of slippers
• terry holding my hand
• the look on my mom's face when she saw emerson
• emerson's face the first time she nursed (sorry, x-rated, you could watch the censored version if you needed to) :)
• a hospital room full of people loving on a new family
• me breaking down crying in the bathroom at home because i was afraid i had no idea how to be a parent
• terry and emerson sitting on the couch late at night
• the three of us sleeping in the bed
• molly helping me put the carseat in the shopping cart on our first outing
• a mimosa for my birthday lunch
• emerson and adam sleeping on the couch at christmas
• her precious smile when she sees terry come home for the day
• us frantically getting the camera to catch her laughing on film
• emerson sleeping in the sling on a family walk
• a road trip with aunt becca in the snow
• terry in bed with emerson and bella
• emerson's toothless, juicy mouthed, drooling grin (which might be blocked by two fists sticking in said mouth)
• the view from our front porch
• a patient hugging me on my first day back to work
• terry cooking dinner
• my living room on a tuesday night during bible study
• laura and em in their matching bunny slippers (because it wouldn't be a post without a picture of emerson!)

Those are the first things that pop into my head, and I'm sure if I thought longer, I would remember more - which is just a reminder to me that it's okay if I don't remember everything about everything. I remember the moments, big and small, that are telling the story of my life, and her life, and our life as a family; and that is what matters most. Moments that are leaving imprints all over my heart.

Thanks for sharing the inspiration Blake!

Catch up, catch up!

I am super behind on blog posts, and part of the problem is that I have tried the past 3 nights to upload the last 2 weeks worth of pictures but they won't upload to the computer. Who knows if that is the fault of the camera or the computer, but I will work on that this weekend for sure! There are great things to share of Emerson and Beth, a surprise wedding, our weekly trip to Owens, etc! But luckily, on this weekly trip to Owens a few weekends ago, Aunt Laura and Jordan were with us because they came to spend the weekend!

I have been haggling Laura to come to see us for awhile now since I'm a lousy sister who hasn't been to see her in her new place in Raleigh. But I have great bait now (her favorite niece!) so she signed up quickly. Growing up, I begged and begged for a little sister. I have in my mind what seems like a 'clear memory' [if you know me you know this is a joke because my memory doesn't go past 2 hours ago] of finding out I was going to be a big sister. My 'clear memory' goes like this: Mom had just picked Adam and I up from school and we were on Silas Creek Pkwy, just one intersection away from Sherwood Forest Elementary where I spent my days K-5 (with a slight bump in the road along the way with a teacher who made us smell her armpits as part of 'health education' - EW). Mom had brought me a surprise in the car and it was the new pink Swatch watch I had been wanting and wanting. I remember looking at the watch while mom told me about Laura. Now. I am SURE this is probably not the way it went down...right mom? Surely you didn't tell us about her just casually one day in the car? I don't know why I remember this if it didn't happen, but I'm sure Terry will also testify that I 'remember' lots of things that didn't happen, and don't remember KEY things that do happen! Either way, true story or not - I was so stinkin' excited about a little sister.

Jordan, sorry you didn't get the message that everyone was sad in this photo...

And the best part is, I'm still just as excited about her today as when I found out she was coming into this world! Eight years older, I loved playing with her when she was a baby, and my days of rocking her as a baby and singing Amy Grant's rendition of "Thy Word," [which I thought the words to were 'died bird' - yes, seriously] probably prepared me for my hours of rocking and singing to Emerson. Laura called me her 'real mom' when she was little, which was no offense to the lack of time my mom spent with her just a testament to how obsessed I was with a baby sister! We now (even though 8 years apart) get mistaken for each other all the time, but you can tell us apart because she was blessed with the gorgeous blue eyes, while I got the grey hair...hmm, fair? I think not. But she also got the cool, relaxed, super fun genes that I'm just digging out of my genetic code, and I have loved to watch the freedom of her spirit grow and excel and HAVE FUN. I would SO want to be her friend if she weren't my sister...I mean, she is my friend, but you know, even if she wasn't, she's the kind of girl that when you meet you know you want her to be your friend. Except you (I) might be jealous of her. Because she's gorgeous, and keeps getting more and more beautiful every time I see her somehow!

We had a blast when she and Jordan were here, making homemade pizzas, doing a little shopping for Emerson's first bathing suit, lunch at Owen's, dinner at Cantina, splitting a milkshake from Cookout, playing Settlers of Catan, and snuggling the world's cutest baby.

Sorry, this is all you get to see of my beach ready self (the sun hat) the suit will be revealed at the beach!

Jordan was such a trooper and took to Emerson as if she was his own niece - feeding her a bottle and hanging out with her in the backseat in the car! We loved loved loved having you guys in Charlotte, and if you come back again I feel sure Terry can convince you to move here. Live-in nanny, what?!?!

Rubber Ducky

A big post coming later about Aunt Laura and Jordan's trip to Charlotte this past weekend (which was SO fun). But first, did you see this clip on the Today show this morning? Fantastic. Maybe I can put super glue in the holes of these little squirters that Laura and Em played with for the first time in the bath last weekend! But then again, we all turned out okay, didn't we?